On the Crack

Life is short. Eat dessert first.

Me, eating cheesecake for dinner.

This morning started out with some of my favorite things: sunrise over the water, coffee in my mug, a walk along the beach, the water caressing my feet as I curled my toes in the sand, followed by a few quick texts to loved ones. So when I got to work, the news that my colleague was so ill that he thought he might go to the ER during the night kind of threw me for a loop. What? He seemed a bit off yesterday, but not like that. And most likely he’ll be okay. We never expect these things. At least I don’t. But I think, why shouldn’t I?

I tend to vacillate between two ways to view life: we make our own destiny vs life’s pretty much planned out, so why worry? What will be will be. And depending on what it is I’m talking about, it can go either way. In general, I live my life with the belief we each create our own fortune. We are responsible for steering our ship in the vast sea of life. And the storms…well, we perhaps can’t control them, they are fated to happen to us, but we can steer around them or prepare our vessel as much as possible before we encounter the waves, wind, and torrential rain. But what happens when a mythical cephalopod so large throws its tentacles around your ship and tries to drag you underwater? They don’t exist, right? No need to worry? But here we are….

So as I wait to board my plane north, I think that it’ll be a couple of weeks before I’m back to see my family here. Because in many ways, we are that close. We are a small team and shared experiences (i.e. unreasonably high stress levels and impossible expectations) that rely on complete honesty and trust create bonds quickly. This is home. And I think that there will be many events between now and then—I’ll be across the pond for a few days on business, then in the cold wet snowy Midwest, all the while my coworkers are going to be having vacations. When I’m back, this will hopefully be a blip in the past. A moment of worry that turned out not to be a worry. But these things are like small cracks in the realities we each create everyday. A reminder that life can throw unexpected curve balls. All we can do is try to stay in the game, and play as long as we are able, enjoying ourselves, our teammates, working harder after each loss, and relishing the victories. But when I come back, I’m bringing some gin from the U.K. for my coworker’s “ginius” hour. Where else do all the great ideas come from on our team? (Shhhhh…..don’t tell him or he’ll get a big head).